Moving

Well, I did it this morning, took the plunge and told Mom that I'm going to be moving out and getting an apartment with Lindsey, probably sometime before the end of the year.

I had talked to Dad about it a while ago which was much easier because his emotions weren't quite so involved as Mom's. I can see it somewhat from her perspective: this would make three of her four children moving out within a year, but somehow the fact that two of us will still be within a short drive doesn't seem to make a difference. I am trying my best to sympathize with her sadness and yet to also help her realize that this is the natural course of things, this is what you were supposed to do is work yourself out of a job. We are mature, responsible adults and at some point you're going to have to release us to fly on our own.

Honestly, I think having a little space from each other will really help. I've seen it help with Matthew especially when he moved out. Mom and Dad have had a really difficult time adjusting to the fact that we are adults and that because of this, relationships and the family atmosphere are not going to be the same as they were when we were all under 12, which has caused a lot of tension here at home. It has also contributed to Mom having something of a mid-life crises; she really doesn't know what to do with her life now that all her kids are grown up, and us moving out is forcing her to face this.

*Sigh* It really wasn't a conversation I relished having, who wants to cause someone else sadness and pain? But is it really kinder to continue letting them live in the dream that James and I are going to still be living here twenty years from now? And so I told her the truth as gently as possible, hugged her when she cried and tried to reassure her that this would be a good thing, even though it seems hard now.