State of the Nest

(inspired by this post)

We are halfway through "winter" here (still no snow to speak of) and life is beginning to feel a little calmer as Aleeah gets a bit older and we settle into our roles as parents.  She's becoming much more interactive now which has been tons of fun for us!  Unfortunately, we've been really bad so far about taking any videos of her when she's smiling and "talking".  We've had some worries about her gaining enough weight but that has been sorted out and those now-chubby baby thighs are a happy sight for this mama!

I haven't been doing much reading or handwork recently but I have found a new addiction in Pinterest which is keeping me well supplied  with inspiration for when I have a bit more time for creative pursuits.  I've also been joining another mom and her baby to walk once a week.  I never quite pictured myself as one of those stroller-pushing moms at the mall and yet here I am.  

We're dreaming about Spring here...walking around the lake, trips to the park, picnics and swing-sets and gardening.  The arrival of the first seed catalogs was a happy event and we've been pouring over them, trying to reign ourselves in and be realistic about what we can plant this year.  I'm loving how perfectly our first harvests will be timed with when Aleeah will be ready to start some solids!

A new Bible study has started at church and if the first week is any indication, it should be exactly what I need right now.  I was not previously familiar with Priscilla Shirer, but she has a very compelling way of sharing Truth.  Also at church, Michael has gotten into helping with the computers and sound system.  He seems to be enjoying it and its been fun for me to get to watch him using his gifts and talents.

That about does it for the state of things around here.  What's new for y'all? 

What I Didn't Do

This Christmas season has certainly been a unique one for us with having a newborn. Since Aleeah was born, I've been learning that I can't do everything I used to do and still give her the time and attention she needs right now. Novel concept, I know, but it's been a challenging one for me to grasp. Somehow I think I should be able to be SuperMom with a spotlessly clean house, dinner on the table ready to go by time Michael gets home each evening, and of course never behind on laundry or ironing. And so in an attempt to have a simpler, more relaxed December, there were several things I decided not to do this year -


1. I didn't make tons of cookies. I only made two kinds: sugar cookies and spritz were the winners. This was a little hard for me because the many afternoons spent baking are part of what makes it feel like December to me. In actuality though, just making a few cookies is far more realistic for us. How many can should two people really eat anyway?
2. I didn't make a wreath for my front door. (Instead, the extra branches from our tree that I'd intended to use for a wreath, sat on our porch step all month.) But my sweet sister made one for me!
3. I didn't make our traditional Christmas morning punch. I served orange juice with our banana bread and grits instead and you know what? No one noticed or cared. I think I might make that the new tradition!
4. I didn't send out Christmas letters. Another thing that was hard for me to let go of since it didn't happen last year either. However, my sister-in-law suggested sending out valentine cards instead and I love that idea!

5. I didn't stress that I wasn't able to make all the gifts I wanted to. There will always be other opportunities for handmade gifts; this just wasn't the season for it.

Did you do anything differently this year? How did you feel about the results of that decision?

"There are seasons in which you may not have all your ducks in a row, and that's okay, because art is being made, passions are being pursued, relationships are in a high-maintenance, deepening mode, or you're just in survival mode - just for a season."

This quote was exactly what I needed to stumble across today. Now that we're adjusting to not having my mom here to help out, I've been feeling as if my life consists entirely of all things baby and lacks the variety it used to have. Not that I mind spending my days caring for my little one, but some part of me does miss having time to sit down with my knitting or a good book. (Both of which feel impossible right now as I can barely manage to keep up with laundry and get dinner on the table!) Although I don't know who the quote was by, she certainly was right: we are just in a high-maintenance stage of life right now with this little one who has been entrusted to us. And its just that - a stage, a season. Someday I'll have plenty of time to read and knit and do housework but I'll be missing these days when she wakes up with a head of fuzzy hair looking just like a baby bird and when her favorite thing is to snuggle up with you. So for today I'm choosing to savor the stage we're in.

Gardening

lettuce, dill, swiss chard, garlic, beets, radishes

peas and green beans

our first little green tomato!

One of the hardest things about living in a town home has been not having a yard. Okay I suppose we do have a little patch of grass the size of a postage stamp but nowhere to plant a garden or to put a swing for the baby next summer. Thankfully, however, Michael's parents offered to let us use some space in their yard in exchange for gardening help. It turned into a rather large project with Michael and his dad building numerous raised beds and fencing in an area large enough to protect all the boxes and his dad's apple trees from the deer. It was so exciting to watch our little seedlings pop out of the ground and now we are beginning to finally see blossoms on some plants! It has taken me a while to adjust to how late the growing season starts here compared to NC but knowing we are getting close to being able to pick a few of our veggies is exciting. There will undoubtedly be more garden pictures to come in the next few months - especially when it comes time for canning the fruits of our forty tomato plants!

"The greatest love story is your own."

I am still in awe of all the things God has done in the past nine months. I heard this quote just the week before I met Michael and in it sensed that God was telling me that, when the time was right, He would write a beautiful love story for me, unique, all my own, unlike anyone else's, written just for me. He did just what He said He would, and what a journey it has been - unlike anything I ever pictured but perfectly right for Michael and I. Together we have been able to grow in ways we never could have alone. I can hardly believe that a week from tomorrow it will be time to begin a new stage of our journey of growth and learning together. What a privilege to be marrying such a wonderful man!

Stability

For those of you on facebook, I'm sure you already guessed from my status that I got to go see Michael over the weekend. We both have some pretty important decisions to make in the next few weeks which will affect us both no matter what we decide so it was really helpful to be able to talk through some things in person rather than trying to figure it all out over the phone. While we had a great time together and got to do some really neat things up in MN, it was also a time of growth for both of us individually and together. I'm not sure any of the decisions are officially "made" but we have a clearer picture of where we want to go, the kind of life we want to create. This has made coming home very interesting, to be constantly faced with the realization of all the things that will be affected, all the change ahead in life, and I've realized this afternoon that it has me floundering to some degree.

Which brings me to some important questions: Where do I find my stability in life? Where have I been finding it and why is that not working for me? Where do I want to find it and how do I go about that?

I know that the next phase of life holds many adventures that I'm not sure I'm "ready" for yet and lots of lessons that can only be learned through difficult circumstances. This question of stability, though, seems like it will be key in what ever happens. So that's what I'm pondering today - not so much focusing on what decisions need to be made, but where will I find the stability that will allow me to move through change with grace and openness to whatever lessons come?

I'm back

Ah, I just have to say a two week vacation has been wonderful!!! It was not a complete vacation, but not having to teach at Atlas left me with a lot of free time to rest and enjoy normal things as well as special things...Michael coming for Easter, a weekend trip to the mountains, fun cooking projects (I've fallen in love with tofu pasta salad!), going to see Alice in Wonderland, planting seeds, dinner with friends, reading and late mornings to rest and just *be* But alas, normal life starts again. In a way I'm looking forward to it though - a break has been nice but my routine sounds so inviting, and so, I'm back!

"I received comfort then by looking at the stars...whose infinite depth hinted at a large magic in which the birth and death of humans were small things."

One of the librarians that Lindsey and I work with passed away quite unexpectedly this week and then this morning we found out that my Dad's mom died. It seems odd for there to be so much death in the midst of all the new life of spring. At the library one of the display tables has a picture of Joyce and patrons who knew her have been bringing in flowers and cards to add to the table. Many random people who never new her or who only recognized her by sight have stopped to read the obituary on the table as well and today I observed something that I know would have made Joyce smile. There was a father checking out the table trying to determine what it was about as his little son (maybe five years old) circled around and around the table trying to decide which of the flowers he thought smelled the best. Joyce loved flowers and animals and always had a smile for everyone, I can just picture her watching that little boy and enjoying his delight.

Moving!!!

The fun began early Friday morning as Lindsey and I headed off to sign papers, get our keys and do a bit of cleaning, leaving Michael and James home to finish loading some boxes and pack Dad's SUV. Watching the two of them pack was rather comical, Michael apparently inherited his dad's packing abilities and there was not a square inch that was not utilized to the utmost of its potential. We brought tulips with us when we went to clean and they were the first thing to be brought in and set on the counter. I'm so glad to have a roommate who values making things feel homey and comfy too!

The guys moved all the heavy stuff, so why was I the one getting the back rub???
We got everything moved by late afternoon and then various family members and a few close friends came to celebrate and have pizza and brownies with us.

Saturday we (Michael, Lindsey and I) went to check out a chair from Craig's list to complete our living room. It barely fit in the jeep though and Lindsey had a really squished ride home but it was worth it, its exactly the kind of chair we'd been looking for.


It was a huge help having Michael here for the move :) We put the poor guy to work, moving boxes, arranging furniture, helping us get the internet set up, hanging stuff on walls, cooking, grocery shopping etc etc etc. Mostly though, it was a comfort to have him here. I had not fully realized that wherever he is feels like home. Now that he's gone back to Denver, it's starting to set in what a huge change this is. I'm hoping that getting my room arranged and getting into something of a routine will help, but for right now the honest truth is that, with as excited as I am to be here, change is hard and I feel a little lost in life.

Homemake-y ;)

I have to admit that even with as stressful and change-ful as the prospect of moving out has been - I'm LOVING it :) ...kitchen towels, rubber scrapers, beautiful wooden spoons, green plates, being given the mixer/blender that I learned to cook with, tea for my cabinet, even tarragon ;)... I have no doubts that the kitchen is going to be my favorite spot in the apartment; we'll even have a counter for bar stools so I can enjoy company while I cook and experiment and enjoy being homemake-y :) For now its all in boxes though, waiting for Friday for things to find their way into cupboards and drawers!

Changes and Lessons

Life has been a whirlwind these last few weeks, with extra shifts, a trip to Denver and preparing to move on the 26th on top of normal homework, teaching and work at the library. At least once a day I find myself thinking how insane I am for attempting all this in such a short amount of time. Then I have to stop and remind myself that with the way things have happened, it is quite clear that this is God's timing for things and that everything will work out just as He intends it, even if I don't see the way right now. I am continually being convicted of my lack of trust. I feel like I go around in circles: I fret and worry, God provides, I think how silly I was to worry and not trust. Then before too long I find myself worrying over something else, and the need is met and I think how foolish I was...

Life is an adventure, so many lessons to be learned, experiences to be had, difficult things to face. Life seems particularly adventuresome right now with so many changes occurring, but I pray I will be able to enjoy the adventure rather than focusing on the stressful aspects of it all. Needless to say, there is more to come: pictures, lessons, descriptions of the apartment...stay tuned for those of you who can put up with my infrequent randomness that sometimes pass as blogging!

Music

I've been discovering recently how starved I am for music, more specifically starved for playing with other people, people at a similar "level" (duets of Lightly Row are great and everything but they leave a bit to be desired). Matthew was home the other day right between right between some of my lessons and we spontaneously ended up playing some of our old piano and violin pieces together. We rediscovered a Dvorak piece that had been an absolute favorite several years back and we happened to end with the last grand chord right as my student walked up the drive way. It was exhilarating!

Dawn and I have plans afoot to work up a concert together, most likely at the beginning of the fall. I'm really looking forward to this, partly as incentive to practice and perfect skills I've learned (particularly ones from Mrs. Gardner), and also because it will mean lots of practices together and opportunities to play! Do any of my violin friends out there have any suggestions for pieces to consider working up for this concert? (Cheri, I know you probably have some input... ;) I'm so jealous that you're getting to study with Katie G.H.!) Any Beethoven ideas would be especially great, I'm not sure what it is recently but I've been dying to play Beethoven!

February

So a few of you know about my habits project from a few years ago. I attempted to see if, instead of having a few New Year's resolutions that I abandoned by March, if I could add a new habit each month. I only made it half way through the year, but I still think it could have a lot of potential if I could not only make it through a whole year, but keep up with each habit. Twelve new good habits could make quite a difference! And so I'd like to try it again. Last time I focused mostly on outward habits (like flossing my teeth regularly - ha, yeah, that didn't go so well...) but this year I'd really like it to be a combination of deeper things as well as more obvious ones.

In January my focus was on learning to let myself feel things deeply. "We have to open ourselves up to what we are feeling, to let those emotions flow. If we bottle them up, we will still feel them in our sub-conscious. Something will feel off, but we won't be able to identify it or know what to do about it." (Sorry for the paraphrase, Michael) And then the second half of this lesson was to "acknowledge a feeling or thought but not get caught in it." Its just a feeling, I don't have to let my emotions control me, but I can learn a lot from what I discover in them and where they are coming from and I still have a choice about what to do with them. These lessons have made a huge, huge difference in my life; I am able to tune in more easily to what is going on beneath the surface instead of merely rushing through life going from one thing to the next.

What I'd like to focus on this next month seems a little more mundane, and yet in a way it is still related to my lessons from January. Last month I learned to tune in to what is going on inside. Now I need to spend some attention tuning in to outward details. Things like being punctual (whether with returning library books or answering emails), keeping track of various things, and doing some projects to bring my surroundings to a little more order. (There's a pretty good likelihood I'll be moving at the end of the month so having things more organized by then would really help!)

So now you all know what I'm supposed to be up to this month...I'm hoping that will provide some added motivation ;)

Christmas season in my world

Several weeks ago I read a blog post by a young mom about what makes up the Christmas season in their home and it got me thinking about what things make it feel like December to me. There are certain things that are tradition in our family for this time of year and some of these are included in my idea of quintessential Christmas, but other things seem to be important only to myself and therefore will probably not happen unless I make an effort to work them into the busy days of December. With this in mind, I thought that over the next few weeks I would share some snippets with you of the Christmas season in my world.
{candles create the perfect Christmas ambiance in my mind, especially when combined with one of my new favorite Christmas CDs - Christmas from the Heart (David Archuleta) and Christmas in New England}

The rest of my weekend

So it turns out there was no reason for a stomach with butterflies this weekend ;) It was a wonderful few days filled with cooking, friends old and new, late nights, lots of talking, and music, not to mention getting my kitten! Now its back to normal life - teaching, homework, studying for finals and more sleep :)

I'd forgotten...

• that knitting calms me down
• about "teacher mode" and how easily I slip into it
• to take conscious alone time (us introverts and our need for solitude...)
• how relaxing it is to read blogs only at night
• the enthusiasm of a friend newly infected by the knitting bug ;)
• what an affluent society I live in

But I promise I didn't forget about blogging! Its been a crazy week preparing for and having a recital for my students, being sick, going to a friend's concert etc. but I'm back now.

I've been up to my ears in apples - Lindsey and I brought so many back from the mountains! Most of them are for drying, but I've also really been wanting to make applesauce again like we did with Gampa when we were little. And of course apple pies are a must ;)

Welcome, Fall Break!!!

I've been so busy recently with teaching and school work that the days have gone by quickly and fall break from my college classes is already here! And just in time to prevent burnout on my end ;) I'll still be teaching my students and at Atlas, so it really just means that I'll have free mornings for a week but even that is something to celebrate!

So far my plans include:

*lots of resting and reading
*knitting :) I'm in the middle of a sweater and the most wonderful hat (pictures to come ;) )
*sewing - some for myself, some for gifts for friends and students
*sleeping! I was still feeling under the weather from my cold this morning so I just went back to bed after breakfast with the family and it was soooo wonderful
*taking care of some appointments and phone calls I've been putting off [gulp]
*baby sitting a friends kids on Friday evening
*drawing for fun, not just for my art class ;)
*lots of tea and some fall baking too

Wishing you all a wonderful week of Fall!

Monday

"Monday was the diving board poised over the rest of the week...without Monday one simply bombed into the water belly first and hoped for the best."

Happy Monday all of you! What does the coming week look like for you? Classes start this week for me, and it's already been an interesting week...last night they took mom to the hospital with really bad chest pain and it turns out she has a partially collapsed lung, though they're not quite sure why since usually this is a result of high altitude or some kind of trauma. She's home resting now, but we'll see how that plays into the dynamic of this week.