Quotes for the Journey

"As we stand at this intersection of God's calling, we look down two highways that appear to travel in very different directions. The first highway quickly takes a turn and disappears from our view. We cannot see clearly where it leads, but there are ominous clouds in the near distance. Standing still long enough to look down this road makes us aware of an anxiety inside, an anxiety that threatens to crystallize into unhealed pain and forgotten disappointments. We check our valise and find no up-to-date road map but only the torn and smudged parchment containing the scribbled anecdotes and traveler's warnings by a few who have traveled the way of the heart before us. They encourage us to follow them, but their rambling journals give no real answers to our queries on how to navigate the highway."

These are a few of my (new) favorite things...

*this song
*a cool hat to knit for a birthday gift
*working on guitar again
*these pictures
*learning to improvise on piano :)
*oh, and this song too
*not to mention a quiet day with the house to myself to catch up on things like cleaning bathrooms and making banana bread!

Moving

Well, I did it this morning, took the plunge and told Mom that I'm going to be moving out and getting an apartment with Lindsey, probably sometime before the end of the year.

I had talked to Dad about it a while ago which was much easier because his emotions weren't quite so involved as Mom's. I can see it somewhat from her perspective: this would make three of her four children moving out within a year, but somehow the fact that two of us will still be within a short drive doesn't seem to make a difference. I am trying my best to sympathize with her sadness and yet to also help her realize that this is the natural course of things, this is what you were supposed to do is work yourself out of a job. We are mature, responsible adults and at some point you're going to have to release us to fly on our own.

Honestly, I think having a little space from each other will really help. I've seen it help with Matthew especially when he moved out. Mom and Dad have had a really difficult time adjusting to the fact that we are adults and that because of this, relationships and the family atmosphere are not going to be the same as they were when we were all under 12, which has caused a lot of tension here at home. It has also contributed to Mom having something of a mid-life crises; she really doesn't know what to do with her life now that all her kids are grown up, and us moving out is forcing her to face this.

*Sigh* It really wasn't a conversation I relished having, who wants to cause someone else sadness and pain? But is it really kinder to continue letting them live in the dream that James and I are going to still be living here twenty years from now? And so I told her the truth as gently as possible, hugged her when she cried and tried to reassure her that this would be a good thing, even though it seems hard now.

Monday

"Monday was the diving board poised over the rest of the week...without Monday one simply bombed into the water belly first and hoped for the best."

Happy Monday all of you! What does the coming week look like for you? Classes start this week for me, and it's already been an interesting week...last night they took mom to the hospital with really bad chest pain and it turns out she has a partially collapsed lung, though they're not quite sure why since usually this is a result of high altitude or some kind of trauma. She's home resting now, but we'll see how that plays into the dynamic of this week.

Fall

I can hardly wait! Fall has always been my favorite season and though it usually doesn't make it's full appearance in NC until late October/early November, I'm settling for late summer and calling it fall ;) I start salivating mentally to think of cool crisp mornings in which to go exercise at the lake, brilliant leaves, the yarn festival in the mountains that Lindsey and I are hoping to go to in October, so many yummy things to make with apples and pumpkins, warm cups of tea...

And in the midst of that, this fall is going to be crazy busy. Here's what it'll probably be looking like for me if all goes as planned...
*I'm taking two classes this semester at Wake Tech, a humanities class which involves plays and drama (twice a week) and a basic drawing class (can't wait!!!) that is once a week for four hours.
*I have about 6 clep tests left to finish before December (some of them I'm almost finished studying for, I just haven't taken them yet)
*I'll be teaching at the school four days a week, going there right after class some days. I should have about 30 students there as before and I can't wait to have a new batch of little Kindergartners to indoctrinate with a love of the violin :)
* At this point I'll have 18 private students...18!!!! I am astonished at how many God keeps sending and if He sends any more I think I might have to start a waiting list...that shocks me, I never ever thought it would get to that point! I'm so glad to have a few new students though, having some new ones somehow gives me a fresh perspective on teaching all together and keeps me from becoming ho-hum and boring in my lessons! I'm especially looking forward to the twin five year old girls I'll be starting ;) But I'll be coming home to teach straight after teaching at school all week, and then, depending on what day it is, I'll either teach into the evening, or head straight from teaching to work at the library. Whew, its gonna feel like a marathon!

But in all that, I'm looking forward to, hopefully, keeping things balanced. I don't want to lose any of the ground I've gained this summer, both spiritually and physically. In early summer I had a real breakthrough with God and it's been one of the best times in my life spiritually...so exciting! I've also been working on eating better and am amazed at how much better I feel and how much more energy I have when I do (any ideas for eating health-fully when on a tight schedule? :) ) so I definitely don't want to lose that by default. Exercising is something I'm working on getting into a routine on too. It felt so good to get out there and ride my bike the other day. And *gasp* I think I'm going crazy...I'm thinking about taking up running!

So fall should be an interesting time for me this year, very busy, and yet hopefully with balance and wholeness, not loosing sight of the most important things.

Weekending

We had such an amazingly fun time this weekend! Friday and Saturday James and Lindsey and I went down to the coast (2 1/2 hrs away) to go camping. We camped right on the beach, and since you drive right through the sand to whatever spot you feel like camping on, you are only allowed on this particular beach if you have four wheel drive! This was the first off-roading we've done with my jeep and it was a blast :D Bumping around on mounds of sand, swimming, getting sunburned and watching the sunrise over the ocean from our tent. The pictures are up on facebook for any interested :)

Babysitting the other night has gotten my thinking about the things kids these days are into. The little boy we were babysitting had a friend over to spend the night, so they largely played with each other and stayed quite entertained without much intervention. Listening to them was quite interesting though. William is into a lot of the card games, video games etc. that are popular among his his age right now, however, he also enjoys a lot of what I would consider more "normal" things (well, normal in the sub-culture I was raised in ;) ) like reading, creating things, learning to knit, playing board games, playing with his kitten etc. In contrast, his little friend seemed to know little besides the "popular" games (I don't even know what half the stuff they were talking about was!); all he could talk about was the red-eyed dragon vs. the blue-eyed dragon, this one card's killing abilities etc. Lindsey and I also noticed a huge difference in the way the two boys responded to us, with William being MUCH more polite, respectful, obedient and pleasant to be around. (I'm not sure the other little boy had ever heard of using an "inside voice" ;))

What all this brought up in my mind though, was how I want to raise my kids some day. I don't want to raise them like they live on Little House in the Prairie, but I would like to raise them with more traditional values. While I think imagination is a wonderful thing that should be encouraged, I want to encourage it in the most wholesome way possible and some of the popular games for kids these days don't seem very wholesome to me. They're only six or seven, let them keep their innocence a little longer! However, I also want them to be able to relate to other kids they meet. Where do you draw the line on such issues? I'm so glad I'm not a parent right now and that these are decisions I'm currently facing! For right now I'm having fun observing and evaluating different parenting styles and value systems.

Birthday of the Week

Dear James, It has been such a joy to watch you grow up from being this cute little boy and I am so proud of the man you are becoming! These are just a few of the things I treasure the most about you...

*I love watching how good you are with dogs. Cooey was never truly content with anyone but you. But I have to say I miss you when you go to take care of the Rielly's dogs for a week at a time :(
*You've always been interested in the army and law enforcement - I'm so proud of how much you have put up with to finish high school and pursue your dreams!

*I love how our personalities click, how much fun we have together no matter what we're up to.


*It's been so much fun watching you get to have such a great friend! I know you've missed him a lot since he's been away at boot camp but I'm so proud of the great attitude you've kept through it all!


*Of course I love your sense of humor, "little" brother :)

*Trips with you and Lindsey have been so much fun!

*I love how you enjoy doing quiet, simple things like fishing. Thanks for letting me tag along :)

Happy birthday with many wishes for a wonderful 19th year ahead!

Trust

My heart rate still goes up when I think about last night. I was driving to babysit with Lindsey and crossing a highway. I'd forgotten how wet the roads were from all this rain we've been having (8 inches this week!) and gave it a little too much gas. The rest happened in a matter of seconds. My tires (which really need to be replaced) spun out and Emmett and I seemed to be at a stand still in the middle of the highway with on-coming cars, then we picked up a little speed and the back end fish-tailed, headed straight for a light pole and a huge ditch, I over corrected and almost hit the median, sign and car on the other side of my lane, over corrected again and felt us careening toward another small ditch in front of me. About the time my brain started registering that "If I don't get control of the car, we're going to crash" Emmett and Lindsey and I miraculously slid to a halt on a providentially placed gravel patch. The rest of the night I was almost in shock, realizing how many things could have happened, how many things God protected us from. It was just amazing to me, knowing that God was guiding my hands to be able to steer out of our skid, even though I over corrected.

We had a great evening (a few thoughts on that in another post), finally got two excited boys to sleep, watched a movie and visited for quite a while with the mom (a lady we work with who has been away for several weeks). And then it was 1:30 am driving home and my car was on empty and desperately needing gas, but two girls at that time of night going to a dark gas station didn't seem a very smart idea. It was really worrying me though, knowing that I had to take Lindsey home and still get home myself without running out of gas, and God just gently said, "Katie, I just prevented you from at least four things you could have crashed into and been seriously injured and your car totally smashed up; you and Lindsey are perfectly safe and your car doesn't even have a scratch on it...And you're worried about running out of gas??? Just trust Me."